Starving, while distributing rations.

This week I have been in worship services two times per day. Each of the services has had a couple of sets of singing, and two sermons or testimonies from people on the front lines of service to the agonizing places in our society. It occurs to me that I am a starving man as I come to these tables of grace.

Due to financial constraints at our church, I have not attended seven of the last eight gatherings of pastors on our district. For this reason, I have not been in settings where I can receive. Instead, I bring the word, I study the order of the service, I pray for every soul in the room, and I present the the elements of our unity. It is indeed a privilege and high calling to do these things. I feed myself in prayer and scripture daily, but I have not afforded my soul the joys of receiving, along with others, the words of life. I have been starving my own soul. And for this, I confess before God and all under my care.

This week--the second of my "step away time," I have learned a vital lesson about isolation. It is no one's duty to feed me. It is no one's duty to see that I fellowship with others in worship, when I am not in charge. It is mine. And I cannot survive in isolation--on meager self-served rations. I need the greater body of Christ.

You might check with your pastor. Are they ever fed in corporate settings where they are not responsible for every soul in the room? Radio and taped sermons do not count.

I'll be writing a bit later about some amazing encounters I had yesterday deep in places where white men rarely walk. I found treasures of God's grace working there. I found agonies our society is glad to keep under wraps. More later. Check in.